Litterbug: Bite Me!
On my run today I driver at the stop sign in front of the BART station open their door and toss out a rumpled McDonald's bag, presumably full of greasy napkins, cheeseburger wrappers, squeezed-out ketchup packets, and those little spear-shaped fries that always fall to the bottom of the bag. Then the driver drove away. I wanted to run out and grab the bag and throw it at the car, hopefully to have a half-full medium Coke inside explode all over the windshield. "I hope you wreck and die, you piece of shit littering fucker!" I would have yelled.
But I didn't do that. The car was too far away, and I know better than to run into an intersection. I wanna go and shit on the floor in that person's home, though. Joe and I live a few blocks down from a Taco Bell, and there's a high school a few blocks up the street in the other direction. These students are always stuffing Taco Bell wrappers and cups into the bushes in front of our apartment building. I hate litter. I hate it so much I can't even articulate my disgust at the morons who do it. Argh!
Speaking of litter and shit, we saw a really drunk bum in Santa Monica sprawled out next to this concrete parking barricade right by a huge intersection. Two other bums were with him. He pulled down his pants and pooped right there, right in front of his bum friends and a few dozen drivers. I guess if you have no home and your blood is 99% hooch, it don't matter where you poop. I've been on the pot before with the door open, but that's the pot: white porcelain and clear (if not clean) water to receive the feces. Besides, usually I only pull that casual #2 action when Joe is around. And I've answered the heaveir call of nature in the great outdoors before, but that was with the camoflauge of a good many trees in between me and other possible campers/hikers. But I hope I never leave a McDonald's bag in the BART station intersection, or poop on the side of a bust road in broad daylight. I think both are equally bad.
But I didn't do that. The car was too far away, and I know better than to run into an intersection. I wanna go and shit on the floor in that person's home, though. Joe and I live a few blocks down from a Taco Bell, and there's a high school a few blocks up the street in the other direction. These students are always stuffing Taco Bell wrappers and cups into the bushes in front of our apartment building. I hate litter. I hate it so much I can't even articulate my disgust at the morons who do it. Argh!
Speaking of litter and shit, we saw a really drunk bum in Santa Monica sprawled out next to this concrete parking barricade right by a huge intersection. Two other bums were with him. He pulled down his pants and pooped right there, right in front of his bum friends and a few dozen drivers. I guess if you have no home and your blood is 99% hooch, it don't matter where you poop. I've been on the pot before with the door open, but that's the pot: white porcelain and clear (if not clean) water to receive the feces. Besides, usually I only pull that casual #2 action when Joe is around. And I've answered the heaveir call of nature in the great outdoors before, but that was with the camoflauge of a good many trees in between me and other possible campers/hikers. But I hope I never leave a McDonald's bag in the BART station intersection, or poop on the side of a bust road in broad daylight. I think both are equally bad.
posted by Lefty at 1:22 PM
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