Cat Coda
Danger Bike and I went on a little adventure this afternoon, wherein Danger Bike earned the new name Piece of Goddamn Crap Bike. Up to today I've stuck to level gound on the thing, but I had some wanderlust and wanted to play out in the sun. There's a bike path visible under the highway overpass that you cross to get to the Bulb, and I wanted to see where that bike path went.
I rode Danger Bike to the library first. It popped, squealed, and creaked the whole way. I needed to pick up the copy of "Coal Miner's Daughter" I'd put on hold and was only running in for a second, so I felt pretty safe leaving Danger Bike unchained out front. Now way am I buying a lock for that bike--you'd have to be whacked to steal it. Anyone in their right mind would ditch that bike after riding it a mere three yards. Danger Bike it stealproof.
After the library, I had to depart from the bike path and take it to the streets to get to my destination. Straying from the bike path means crossing more intersections, and that means stopping more. Stopping is not one of Danger Bike's strong suits. I've developed a method I call the coasting dismount, where I simply hop off the bike while it's slowing down. Lots of coasting dismounts on the way to the Bulb.
To get to the Bulb, you have to ride over the tail end of Albany Hill, which is pretty steep. It's not too hairy--a good cruiser bike could hack it under some powerful legs, but it's too much for Danger Bike. I gave up and walked the bike after one uphill block. I also gave up on the downhill ride, because Danger Bike's breaks take way too much muscle just to slow the bike to a safe speed.
After making it over the hill, I dragged the bike over the railroad tracks under the overpass, seeing the bike path looming in the distance. The bogus bike path turned out to be a ramp from the overpass to the underpass that dissolved into gravel and weeds. I looked at the underside of the overpass, how it joins together like a massive concrete jigsaw puzzle. Hundreds of cars zoomed above, traveling between 60 and 80mph. Funny to think we live so close to that.
I rode to the Bulb, but not onto the Bulb itself. The Bulb is close to the horse track, and there's a massive parking lot that was empty on this Wendesday afternoon. I thought it would be fun to ride around in crazy loops out there for the sheer joy of it, but the wind was high, and Danger Bike was fighting me. Normal bikes optimize energy, but Danger Bike is like a medeival torture device: it consumes energy, squandering it on loose joints and wobbly wheels.
I got mad at the bike, which left me joyless, and I got mad at Bryan, who gave it to me. He knew I wanted a bike and started looking around, eventually buying this nice blue Schwinn called Hollywood. But he kept Hollywood for himself and wound up buying another blue Schwinn from a bum for $20. That blue Schwinn is Danger Bike. That bike is a fucked-up ride, man. I hope that bum had fun drinking $20 worth of Night Train, because Danter Bike sure ain't worth $20. At the time I thought it was thoughtful of Bryan to buy a bike for me, but in the windy racetrack parking lot this afternoon, I decided Bryan was a selfish jerk who gave me the shoddiest bike in California. Maybe he wants me to crash into a stop sign or moving car and break my leg.
At the other end of the parking lot I hear a polic siren bleeping on and off. I wondered if there was shakedown happening, but I realized it was just two guys on motorcycles. The siren bladed clumsily, starting and stopping at random intervals. It looked like one motorcycle guy had taken another one out there to learn the ropes, the way a Dad does to help his kid learn how to ride a bike. "Oaky, this is how your make the siren go!" one CHiP would say to the rookie CHiP.
I rode back a different way--less hilly, but still too many stop signs. I'm a pretty athletic gal, but a mere two miles on Danger Bike threw my muscles all kids of out of whack. From now on, I ride Danger Bike to the shopping center and the library and that's it. Maybe I'll just dump it off in Bryan's front yard next time I'm up there.
Still, I'm glad I got out. Just a few blocks into my ride, I saw a black tail attached to a white cat body lingering next to the tire of a car parked along the side of the road, and I realized it was the nutty, lovable cat that had a one-nighter as our family pet. I didn't stop to pet the cat, but I'm glad it's alive and happy, probably just haging out in front of the house where it lived all along.
I rode Danger Bike to the library first. It popped, squealed, and creaked the whole way. I needed to pick up the copy of "Coal Miner's Daughter" I'd put on hold and was only running in for a second, so I felt pretty safe leaving Danger Bike unchained out front. Now way am I buying a lock for that bike--you'd have to be whacked to steal it. Anyone in their right mind would ditch that bike after riding it a mere three yards. Danger Bike it stealproof.
After the library, I had to depart from the bike path and take it to the streets to get to my destination. Straying from the bike path means crossing more intersections, and that means stopping more. Stopping is not one of Danger Bike's strong suits. I've developed a method I call the coasting dismount, where I simply hop off the bike while it's slowing down. Lots of coasting dismounts on the way to the Bulb.
To get to the Bulb, you have to ride over the tail end of Albany Hill, which is pretty steep. It's not too hairy--a good cruiser bike could hack it under some powerful legs, but it's too much for Danger Bike. I gave up and walked the bike after one uphill block. I also gave up on the downhill ride, because Danger Bike's breaks take way too much muscle just to slow the bike to a safe speed.
After making it over the hill, I dragged the bike over the railroad tracks under the overpass, seeing the bike path looming in the distance. The bogus bike path turned out to be a ramp from the overpass to the underpass that dissolved into gravel and weeds. I looked at the underside of the overpass, how it joins together like a massive concrete jigsaw puzzle. Hundreds of cars zoomed above, traveling between 60 and 80mph. Funny to think we live so close to that.
I rode to the Bulb, but not onto the Bulb itself. The Bulb is close to the horse track, and there's a massive parking lot that was empty on this Wendesday afternoon. I thought it would be fun to ride around in crazy loops out there for the sheer joy of it, but the wind was high, and Danger Bike was fighting me. Normal bikes optimize energy, but Danger Bike is like a medeival torture device: it consumes energy, squandering it on loose joints and wobbly wheels.
I got mad at the bike, which left me joyless, and I got mad at Bryan, who gave it to me. He knew I wanted a bike and started looking around, eventually buying this nice blue Schwinn called Hollywood. But he kept Hollywood for himself and wound up buying another blue Schwinn from a bum for $20. That blue Schwinn is Danger Bike. That bike is a fucked-up ride, man. I hope that bum had fun drinking $20 worth of Night Train, because Danter Bike sure ain't worth $20. At the time I thought it was thoughtful of Bryan to buy a bike for me, but in the windy racetrack parking lot this afternoon, I decided Bryan was a selfish jerk who gave me the shoddiest bike in California. Maybe he wants me to crash into a stop sign or moving car and break my leg.
At the other end of the parking lot I hear a polic siren bleeping on and off. I wondered if there was shakedown happening, but I realized it was just two guys on motorcycles. The siren bladed clumsily, starting and stopping at random intervals. It looked like one motorcycle guy had taken another one out there to learn the ropes, the way a Dad does to help his kid learn how to ride a bike. "Oaky, this is how your make the siren go!" one CHiP would say to the rookie CHiP.
I rode back a different way--less hilly, but still too many stop signs. I'm a pretty athletic gal, but a mere two miles on Danger Bike threw my muscles all kids of out of whack. From now on, I ride Danger Bike to the shopping center and the library and that's it. Maybe I'll just dump it off in Bryan's front yard next time I'm up there.
Still, I'm glad I got out. Just a few blocks into my ride, I saw a black tail attached to a white cat body lingering next to the tire of a car parked along the side of the road, and I realized it was the nutty, lovable cat that had a one-nighter as our family pet. I didn't stop to pet the cat, but I'm glad it's alive and happy, probably just haging out in front of the house where it lived all along.
posted by Lefty at 8:49 PM
3 Comments:
i spent five years worth of weekends in your neighborhood. just reading about it pisses me off. can't wait to rip on it.
too bad about the bike. i got a nice 3 speed hanging in the garage that my last gf abandoned here. needs minor work. if you want it lemme know i'll deliver to castro and you can nab it there.
We need to just dump that bike somewhere, it sucks. Somebody will pick it up and like it, maybe.
Hmmm, i just re-read Factory Peasant's comment and I'm not sure how much I like it. "Rip on it" You mean rip on Albany and the bulb?? Why? The bulb is the best place in the East Bay, hands down. Why is everyone so down on Albany all the time; it's just some little innocuous suburb of Berkeley. Who cares, just let it be.
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