The Mullefication of Lefty
Welcome to the new and improved Sneezy & Tacky! We're so happy to have you here. Please note the sleeker layout and newly discovered ability to post challenging, innovative images online. Also please note that I am now Lefty, and no longer go by my old name. That's because I realized I was writing some cathartic but unkind things about my workplace, which I wish no harm upon. Not like I expect someone I work with to stumble across this blog and become offended and fire me...though anyone in the world with a computer and an Internet connection could view this blog...
Anyway, it's not like Lefty is a dumb made-up name, because I am left-handed and very proud of it. In high school, my friend Kelly started calling me Lefty, and I began to call her Brown (just as I am left-handed, she is really brown). To this day, a bunch of folks over in England that I've never met know me only as Lefty.
Mr. Bir Toujour also has a history behind his name, but it's not that exciting.
Most people that I make up names for don't know about it. Here are some of my favorite made-up names.
1. Retail Ron
2. Jimmy Knivel
3. Stubby Chunkers
4. Stinky Mc Poojeans
5. Annie Ronis
Mr. Bir Toujour is a very gifted maker-upper of names, some muscle that he flexes on his blog of fist-shaking at the white-collar world: http://morninghater.blogspot.com.
There are no photos of yours truly on this blog, and I plan to keep it that way. But for now, in your mental picture of the nerd presently molesting her home keyboard, paint in a mullet. A fledgling mullet.
Several months ago--late this summer, actually--I got what I felt to be a very stylish, very short haircut. Think Maggie O'Connel in the earlier seasons of 'Northern Exposure.' That haircut grew, and now it's a somewhat formless mop-top of a thing. Were I to grease it down properly (i.e. not wash it for weeks upon weeks) I'd make a great hipster guy, but as it is now, the profile of my hair changes daily; some days it's flatter (thanks to using a hair dryer), some days it's fluffier (air-drying, limited use of styling product). Some days it looks like an unkempt version of my mother's haircut (days when I don't wet my hair down after getting out of bed).
It's getting pretty long in the back. Today, after returning from a very wonderful pre-MLK Day hike to the summit of Mt. Diablo, I took a shower and treated my wet locks with small dabs of Clairol Herbal Essences Styling Gel and some expensive, creamy-opaque whitish stuff that costs $7 for 2 ounces. I swept the whole works back, and after an hour or so of air-drying I looked in the mirror and saw...Patrick Swayze!
Well, more like a modified Patrick Swayze. This is okay with me, as I don't plan on leaving the house tonight. I recall seeing many such unisex hairstyles in the in the magazines at the hair salon that my mother took me to when I was growing up: Hair Dimensions. The 80s retro look is in now, so I could ride out the Swayze-mullet for a few weeks. In fact, I must, as my next hair appointment (a few blocks away at a salon called Chroma, not at Hair Dimensions) is not until February, and I have vowed not to hack my hair apart impulsively, which I used to do often.
So imagine a younger, smoother-skinned Patrick Swayze-ette behind the grand curtain of Sneezy & Tacky. It's a mini-mullet, but a mullet no less.
Anyway, it's not like Lefty is a dumb made-up name, because I am left-handed and very proud of it. In high school, my friend Kelly started calling me Lefty, and I began to call her Brown (just as I am left-handed, she is really brown). To this day, a bunch of folks over in England that I've never met know me only as Lefty.
Mr. Bir Toujour also has a history behind his name, but it's not that exciting.
Most people that I make up names for don't know about it. Here are some of my favorite made-up names.
1. Retail Ron
2. Jimmy Knivel
3. Stubby Chunkers
4. Stinky Mc Poojeans
5. Annie Ronis
Mr. Bir Toujour is a very gifted maker-upper of names, some muscle that he flexes on his blog of fist-shaking at the white-collar world: http://morninghater.blogspot.com.
There are no photos of yours truly on this blog, and I plan to keep it that way. But for now, in your mental picture of the nerd presently molesting her home keyboard, paint in a mullet. A fledgling mullet.
Several months ago--late this summer, actually--I got what I felt to be a very stylish, very short haircut. Think Maggie O'Connel in the earlier seasons of 'Northern Exposure.' That haircut grew, and now it's a somewhat formless mop-top of a thing. Were I to grease it down properly (i.e. not wash it for weeks upon weeks) I'd make a great hipster guy, but as it is now, the profile of my hair changes daily; some days it's flatter (thanks to using a hair dryer), some days it's fluffier (air-drying, limited use of styling product). Some days it looks like an unkempt version of my mother's haircut (days when I don't wet my hair down after getting out of bed).
It's getting pretty long in the back. Today, after returning from a very wonderful pre-MLK Day hike to the summit of Mt. Diablo, I took a shower and treated my wet locks with small dabs of Clairol Herbal Essences Styling Gel and some expensive, creamy-opaque whitish stuff that costs $7 for 2 ounces. I swept the whole works back, and after an hour or so of air-drying I looked in the mirror and saw...Patrick Swayze!
Well, more like a modified Patrick Swayze. This is okay with me, as I don't plan on leaving the house tonight. I recall seeing many such unisex hairstyles in the in the magazines at the hair salon that my mother took me to when I was growing up: Hair Dimensions. The 80s retro look is in now, so I could ride out the Swayze-mullet for a few weeks. In fact, I must, as my next hair appointment (a few blocks away at a salon called Chroma, not at Hair Dimensions) is not until February, and I have vowed not to hack my hair apart impulsively, which I used to do often.
So imagine a younger, smoother-skinned Patrick Swayze-ette behind the grand curtain of Sneezy & Tacky. It's a mini-mullet, but a mullet no less.
posted by Lefty at 9:04 PM
1 Comments:
As the albino, toe-less woman in Gummo said, sitting in a mini-truck pumping out bad techno, "I would pay moooneeey to be with Patrick Swayze!" So I guess having a 'Swayze cut' isn't all that bad. Right?
Post a Comment
<< Home